Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Football Rant- Get a grip Chelsea

         In the past 12 years, football has seen some highs, some lows and some absolutely terrible events. Footballers’ being paid a high wage is my main bug bear but the firing of managers is also pretty high up there. Yes, I understand the whole, our team are doing rubbish, we need a fresh insight or we are not going to improve view but this isn’t necessarily the truth.
Chelsea seem to have taken this idea and this idea alone into their managerial side. Since 2000, Chelsea has seen 11 managers grace their team.11!!!! Compared to Liverpool who over this time have seen a humble five. However as much as I hate to say it, Manchester United and Arsenal have got something right, 1 manager since 2000 and  this one manager started way before then anyway. 
Roman Abramovich may have the passion needed for the game, the enthusiasm and the money, but he seems to lack the most important thing in football ownership, common sense. Ok, taking a new perspective of things isn’t a bad thing but not constantly. Footballers need continuation if they are to do well.  Sir Alex Ferguson has seen the good, the bad and the downright awful since being manager of Manchester United, unlike Roberto Di Matteo who won some silverware one season then promptly got sacked the next when it appeared that the club were heading for disaster, so to speak.  Every season for every football team is different. A strategy which worked last time might not be as rewarding now and a manager isn’t going to learn what works for his team constantly if he isn’t given the chance.  You could argue that every individual match has the same consensus however it needs to be on a broader scale for the managers to really understand their teams’ perfect strategy.
Lets take each team individually,
                Arsenal-  Haven’t gained a major trophy since the 2005 FA cup but haven’t finished below forth in the premier league. Third League and Cup double  in 2001–02. In addition, the club reached the final of the 1999–2000 UEFA Cup (losing on penalties to Galatasaray), was victorious in the 2003 and 2005 FA Cups, and won the Premier League in 2003–04 without losing a single match.
                Manchester United- Won champions League, Fifa club world cup, FA community shield 5 times, League cup 3 times, Havent finished below third in the premier league.
                Chelsea-  Premier League- 3 times, runners up, 4 times.  FA cup, 4 times.  UEFA champions League once.  Community shield, 3 times.  Lowest premier league finishing position- 6th?
                Liverpool-  FA cup twice, League Cup 3 times, Community Shield twice, UEFA champions League, once. Uefa Cup and super cup, 3 times alltogether.  Lowest league position 8th.  
 So as you can see the teams with the least amount of trophies are the teams with the ever changing managers. Although Arsenal is the exception but this may be down to smaller clubs improving dramatically too. 

Monday, 19 November 2012

Making the most of the memories made

Everyday I'm reminded of the amazing summer which graced Great Britain this year. Unfortunately I don't mean the weather as that was rubbish, as always, but the Olympics. Now I know this finished months and months ago but the great courage, determination and pride which was shown over the course of a month will stay with me forever. Surprisingly we did quite well and even though they are long over, I'm still reminded of them daily. Not the sport and competition necessarily but the respect, passion and sacrifice that ALL the athletes showed. Everyday we ourselves should take on this idea and make the world a better place. We need to share the tears, laughter and happiness as a united front just like we did in the Summer.

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

mmm bacon..

On a lighter more silly note.
mmmm baaacooooon. Om nom nom,

Without history, there is no future.

Well hello there.
           There I am casually sitting in my biology lesson. texting, not paying that much attention to things when my teacher suddenly springs this news topic out of nowhere about a 112 year old women being robbed in her own home. After returning home and googling it to find this story was true, I was shocked. Well not shocked, appalled!
What kind of a person would do such a thing?! I mean, you would have to be desperate to do that. Like, really desperate. 112 years old, born 1899, that's 2 millenniums, 2 world wars, countless other wars, From Queen Victoria to our current Queen plus goodness knows what else and yet some mindless idiot wanted to virtually kill this person for a bit of extra cash and a buzz.
What is this world coming to?
The things this women has seen, experienced, lived through. The things she could teach us. Yet someone wanted to destroy all that?!
I know many people aren't big history fans, I'm not asking you to be. I'm asking you to respect history.
Respect your elders, i suppose too. They've seen things I've been taught about in a history lesson. What they can tell us about the world will inform our decisions we make on the future. We learn from our past mistakes to make a better future. But if we don't know what our past mistakes our, how can we make a good decision. We can't.
Its not just the fact that this women has "seen lots". It's the fact that she is an old, fragile lady. Someone who should be cared for, by ALL members of society. The most dearest members of our family are usually our grandparents, this isn't the case for everyone, i know but still. I know i certainly wouldn't want my family to be treated with such disrespect.
This poor lady was left frightened after the series of attacks at her home. Its sad, its unnecessary and its pathetic.
Without history, we have no future. For we are doomed to just repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Hopefully, some people out there will learn to respect their elders more. Although knowing some people, maybe not.

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

A hug can sometimes be the best medicine.

Well hello there.
Was sitting scrolling down my facebook newsfeed the other day and saw some rather depressing statuses, a facebook friend really wanted a hug. This may seem rather boring to you but to me it is a cry for help. Hugs, to me, help 101 problems that talking and what not don't. They show support, strength, and a unspoken trust between two people.
    Ok, now not every hug is done for this purpose however quite a few are. The simplicity of putting your arm around someone can give that person such vitality and protection that no words need to be said. Not only this, but they are simple. I may sound really soppy here but a good hug shows a good character.
   For a girl, the natural reaction to seeing someone upset or down is to give them a hug. It helps.
So if you see someone who looks a bit down, go give them a hug, or at least offer. It shows good character, goodwill and a compassionate side, all from one simple action.


Wednesday, 13 June 2012

To A2 and beyond!!!!

Well hey there.
 To fill everyone in, I've finished my exams. To everyone doing AS, this was such a great feeling.
Anyways, following exams, went on holiday to Malta for a week and now I've returned to school, to start A2. Gulp.

Started on Monday, its now Wednesday and I'm petrified already.
After having a 2 hour lecture about what is expected from an A level student and ideas about higher education, I finally started lessons where  what I was due to study for the following 5 weeks and    consequently the next year was outlined.
I couldn't wait to start ICT however what I've already done so far, is scary. Alot of mumbo jumbo technical stuff that I assume I will learn with time however at this present moment is like a foreign language. The coursework is even worse.
English on the other hand sounds so fascinating,  Child Language Acquisition, or in laymen's terms, how children learn to speak and develop full sentences and Language change, from like Shakespeare to modern day.
Biology was straight in with the next part of the course. Which looks interesting, suprisingly.
History was a gradual ease into A2, with a quick summary of the course then a task to help familiarise ourseleves with it.
 Today I also went to a higher Education Fair, which considering I've barely finished AS is an eye opening experience although there were some interesting courses and uni's.

So thats what I've been up to recently. Scary stuff. The thought of becoming an Adult is frightening.

Monday, 14 May 2012

1 down. 7 to go.

Well hey there.
My exams started today. 2 weeks of pure hell for me.
Starting with biology. Ugh! Well actually I felt that it went better than I was expecting, although the chance of me actually getting a grade are slim. But hey ho, thinking positive.
Tomorrow is my Russia History exam, now that is scary, 2 essays in an hour and 20 minutes. Scary stuff.
So I've taken a break from writing revision notes (last minute I know) but to inform you about this.
Interesting I'm sure.
Anyways everybody with exams, keep your head up, Think Positive.

Friday, 11 May 2012

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Well hey there.
I know I've been going on, and on, and on about exams and now the most important ones are just around the corner.
Many people from all different years, year 10s, 11s,12s and 13s are all preparing for the most important times in their lives.
Everybody tackles exams differently, some are able to breeze through them, revising the night and hour before. Others revise months in advance to make sure they're prepared. Whatever your strategy, remember one thing, it isn't the end of the world. If you fail, there is always the chance of resitting and there are still ample opportunities for those who didn't do fantastically. Yet you should think positively.
 Imagine yourself receiving  your grades and the happiness that fills you upon getting the greatest grades possible. Don't stress yourself too much over exams though, only do the best you can do.
 At the end of the day, you are going to feel better if you know you went into the exam and tried your best. If you don't do fantastically, sometimes life sucks and you shouldn't feel bad one bit. If you succeed, great! You can improve on that next time.
   So everyone sitting exams, good luck! I hope you all get the grades you were looking for.
Good Luck! I know you will be fabulous.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012


Well hey there.
Yesterday as you may or may not be aware was bank holiday Monday. Now this allows for a day off school, however unluckily for me, I had revision. Not only this but I got called into work. Sad times.
Anyway throughout the day on the radio, there was an official chart of the top 150 highest selling records of the Millennium. Which was somewhat of a trip down memory lane for me.
 150 songs basically from my childhood. Some good, some bad. Some I have on CD, some I haven't heard for about 8 years. Which got me thinking, will we ever forget our generation of music?
Just as the 40's brought about the Jazz kind of music and the 60's/70's brought about rock and roll etc etc, will the noughties which gave us pop and RnB be cast into the shadow of newer,current music.?
I can answer my own question here: yes. But will we forget about the music which shaped our childhoods?
My Nan and Grandad still listen to the music that they danced to when they were courting, my Mum still listens to the music that she went clubbing to when she was my age. But in 10/15 years time will I still occasionally pop on a bit of Shaggy or S club 7, as a bit of a guilty pleasure?
 I loved listening to those songs yesterday for they brought back so many memories and it's scary to think that the new generation of children haven't even heard of S club 7 or Las Ketchup. I don't want to forget the music which I danced to with my late dog in the kitchen of my house at the age of 7, nor do I want to forget the numerous school discos where I slid to the left and criss crossed. Only a 90's child will know this references and unlike the music of the Beatles, Blondie or Terrovision with it's one hit wonder, I don't think our modern music has the lasting and staying power of which it used to.Music in general is dying. In 10 years, how many people will know who Queen were and be able to name 5 songs? In 5 years how many people could sing me a song that Frank Sinatra sang? The answer, not many. They could probably name all of One Direction and Nicki Minaj's songs and maybe the odd Leona Lewis too.
While our modern music, is great and I love it. I don't want to forget the old music which shaped the music of today. It's the music I grew up with and to lose it altogether would be such a great loss. I feel that a new generation of people need to be introduced to the likes of Doris Day, Nat King Cole, Queen and Duran Duran.
Most of you reading this will probably have to use a search engine to find out who I'm on about but for those of you who don't. Thank you for not letting music die.

Monday, 7 May 2012

My twitter friends

Well hey there.
Just thought I'd say, even though I'm meant to be revising I'm typing this blog and skyping my friends Gary, Jess and Kira.
I've never met them but they make me laugh. They are crude yet hilarious and get me.
I feel sorry for Gary, he is just so, how to put it nicely, weird. Anyway I'm hyper so this probably looks like a random load of babble.
I love Jess.... but I could grow to love Kira. I'm not lesbian, but they are just so great.
So yeah, I'm hyper. Must sleep.

Friday, 4 May 2012

It's sad when people who gave you the best memories, become a memory.

Hey there.
As you well know,I've been rather busy with exams and work so as a consequence I've lost my social life.
Now I'm not particularly complaining because it was pretty dismal anyway but what I miss is the friendships that I had before my busy schedule started.
Whilst acting I gained so many friends, people who were like family to me. Yet 9 months after stopping, I've lost contact with virtually all of them, occasionally the odd text here or there but that's about it.
Similarly, my school friends who I spent the "best years of my life" with have become distant. We do different things now and I'd love to spend time catching up, if I had that time in the first place.
My holiday friend is another example, even though we haven't seen each other since my holiday and there is the usual consensus that holiday friendships are fleeting, I thought we could make it last. Yet this similarly has grown to become stilted and awkward. :(
All of the above gave me some great memories and many promised me that those memories wouldn't be the last however as is usually the case when people split and return to their normal lives as such, you grow apart and have less in common that what you thought so friendships become strained.
 It's so refreshing when people make the effort to sustain a friendship, I mean, it's possible. It's got to be.
If not, then I would love to be able to have a friendship where you don't talk for ages, then when you do see each other, it's completely natural and like you'd never been apart.
I love the memories I've gained from these people and I will cherish them forever. They make me smile and after all, smiling is healthy.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Still confused...

Well hey there.
Even though I've been on here for a little while, I'm still so confused as to how to use this... sad times.
On other notes, Exams are coming soon.Wooo! Or not. Dreading them.
I'm imagining results day and I get 2 Bs, an A and a thinking positive. Alot of positivity. Otherwise I will not survive the next week, let alone the exams.
Anyway if you've got exams coming up, Good Luck!

Monday, 23 April 2012

Long time no blog

Well hey there.
 A lot has happened since my last blog, apologies for not blogging, been busy.
Well, I taught my year 10's and it went surprisingly well. Woo!
Handed in my English Language coursework which is a huge relief. It was starting to get on my nerves.
There was also Easter. I spent my Easter Sunday on a plane, train and in an automobile, back from my holiday.
To put it frankly, I needed a break so the mother and I decided to have a little holiday in Tunisia. What a lovely place. Lovely weather, nice people, nice food. Only downside was the fact it was cold at night.
Upon returning I found I had acquired an ear infection so the last week of my Easter holiday was spent in bed or going dizzy. Fun.
Now I'm currently doing all the exam prep, oh and playing cards in Biology. And I ask myself why I suck at this subject. Anyway until next time.

Saturday, 10 March 2012

No me gusta el colegio

Well hello there.
Crikey! It's like March, already! Apologies for the delay in blogging but been extremely busy. School school school school work work work.. etc etc Fun!
Got my grades back last Thursday and well I was rather disappointed, a U in Biology and a D in ICT. I mean everyone told me that A levels were difficult but seriously? I managed to get an A in my mock ICT so to slip to a D is gutting. The only thing I have to cheer me up is the fact that noone in 2 classes ( so about 40 people) got above a C. Biology I was let surprised about, having struggled with it since the beginning. A grade would have been nice though.
Similarly Coursework deadlines are looming and its a lot of pressure as I want the best grades possible, but it is so much work for so little.
In all honesty, the only light relief I had last week was helping in my Year 10 Spanish class. They always manage to cheer me up.
Although, next week I have to do a 15 minute activity leading them, on my own. So pretty scared about that, as even though they are all lovely, the prospect of having to teach them is like ARGHHH.
Anyways, thats my depressing couple of weeks.
Adios Amigos.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

I'm Sorry

This is a bit of a message to my friend.
I want to say Sorry. We live so far apart and I met her on holiday but we promised each other we would stay friends and so far we have. Yet the strains of not seeing each other and living so far apart, makes our friendship difficult.
 We have different lives and so our only ways of communicating through the day is via text, however if one is having a bad day, they might not necessarily text the other, so a miscommunication happens.
 I really do miss her and I just want to say nobody is perfect.
I'm sorry, being such a happy person makes my low moments incredibly low and sometimes that means I say/write things I don't mean.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Don't judge.

Well hello there.
 Back to school after half term so got lots of work. Anyways I listen to a lot of music to help me get through the huge work load and it got me thinking.
Why do people judge people on what they listen to?
I mean, how can one person say that another person can/can't listen to something? Due to the fact they don't like it? Its just wrong.
I like most music. I got brought up on Frank Sinatra, Blondie and S club 7. Well and a lot more but you get the drift. This means that my music taste is broad. I love everything virtually.
Which is why I get annoyed when people say "oh you can't like JEDWARD" or "One Direction"...why not? Alot of people do! Ok, I'm not into fangirling or whatever it's called but there are a few people who i do love more than most. Yet when I say to someone "oh JEDWARD is awesome" they respond with something "but they are rubbish, you shouldn't be listening to them". Sorry, since when did it affect you?
 Everyone should be able to listen to whatever they want. Without getting judged. I'm not a big fan of Justin Bieber but I don't judge everyone who does. I admire them and have slight worries at their almighty admiration for the poor guy. Anyways all I'm saying is, Music is a part of everyone's lives. Don't control people to what makes them happy. Simple.
Rant over. x

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I'm sick of always making the effort.

Well hello there,
Do you ever get those moments when you wonder " if I died tomorrow,who would miss me?".
I get those from time to time and usually when I've been really busy that day. That's because when I'm busy, I have no time to text people and have a chat. Which is why when someone texts me first, I'm happy.
When I have plenty of time to myself and I'm happy, I don't mind making an effort to text people. Even when I'm slightly busy, I'll text those who I know would text me first. Yet when I'm really sad, I'll text no one. I'll wait for someone to make the effort, but nobody does.
Like today for example. I went to work at around 10, so didn't bother to text anybody. I hoped by the time I'd finished, someone would have text me, but no! So I text my friend saying " hope you have a good day", no reply. Fair enough but she then had the cheek to update her Facebook status "via mobile". Little things like this really annoy me hence why I often wonder; If I was to die tomorrow, out of my friends,who would care?
Rant over.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Live your life. Don't let somebody live it for you.

Well hello there.
As a big fan of twitter, I spend alot of time on there. What I find so remarkable about it, is the amount of people who feel pressurised to look a certain way. Why?
I'm not one of these people who is religious but I believe that we were created to all be individual and unique. Magazines nowadays post pictures of stick thin models who are apparently gorgeous, which all ages can access and subconsciously promote these people as the "right" way to look. Well if I'm honest, I'd rather be wrong.
As someone who has experienced many body issues and knows many who have also, this isn't the right message we need to be giving out to people. We need to tell girls and boys alike, that it's ok to be different and that it doesn't matter what size you are, you are accepted as much as anyone else.
   This doesn't just affect weight though. Orientation is another massive issue. In today's culture, we are lucky that  different orientations are allowed. Whereas in years gone by, the thought of "coming out" would have meant probably social exclusion and death. However some issues still carry on today. Homophobic people still have similar views from those 40 years ago, they shouldn't. Yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but since when does somebody's orientation need to affect another person? Since when did "coming out" become something which only butch girls and girly guys could do? It didn't, but that's the stereotype and anyone who doesn't fit that, is more excluded that those in it.
As a world, we are very judgemental. If someone has a disability, they get bullied by more able people. If someone is gay, they are picked on by those who find it "wrong". If someone is fat, they are bullied by those who are "stick thin".They are bullied because they have what people think is a weakness. Just because people are different to you, it doesn't mean they are weak. If anything, it means you are weak. They can quite happily get on with their life, yet you can't. You are the one with the problem, not them.
Media plays such a big part in the ideological person. But my question is: What is the ideological person? and Who decides it? Surely you can't say that the bible decided it. Most people who are homophobic, xenophobic etc are also non religious. So are they cutting their noses off to spite their face?
   Remember, if we were all the same, we would be boring. I'm proud to be different. Everyone should be, but unfortunately that is not the case.
Be who you want to be. It is your life, not somebody else's. Don't fit the mould.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Happy Valentines Day

Well hello there.
Today is Valentines day. That can either be a good or a bad thing. For me it is neither. Even though I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years I still don't appreciate Valentines Day. The idea is cute but other than that, nothing. If you can't treat your partner like a prince or princess all the time then you must be some lousy partner. I understand that this one day means you can really push the boat out, which is cute.
For singletons Valentines day is another day to mock how you are not in a relationship. However it is a good thing, it means you don't have to spend as much money.
So to all those loved up couples and those lucky singletons.
Happy Valentines Day!
Happy Tuesday!!!

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Nobody's perfect.

Well hello there.
Today we mourn the death of the great Whitney Houston. She was an icon to many, including myself and while I wasn't alive when her greatest success occurred , I have grown to love many of her songs. She is now one of my many icons who have recently died, Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze to name but a few.
It's scary to think that people who you grew up with, who inspired you and amazed you are slowly moving on to pastures new. Where they can be free once more. It's sad also. For many of these awe inspiring people suffered, before they died.
Yes I can't say that I agree with some of the things that Michael Jackson did or deny that Whitney Houston was an alcoholic druggie or whatever but that's not why they are so great. They are so great because they produced epic pieces of art which evokes so many emotions in people. Whitney's I will always love you song is an undeniable hit. Michael Jackson's Billy Jean, pure gold. Patrick Swayze as an actor, is unbelievable. These people all had incredible talent and it's a shame that they died so young and so painfully.
We shouldn't slander these people for mistakes they made, after all nobody's perfect. With the "fame game" your every mistake is highlighted a hundred times over. They can't help having imperfections but it makes their pure talent that little bit more special. There are many out there who have the imperfections but only few which share such a great talent.
We need to remember these people for their true talent. I will always love you Whitney.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Mr Music will you play?

Well hello there.
 You ever get that feeling when you listen to a song? I would say what the feeling is but it's different for everyone. Sometimes that feeling is happiness, maybe due to memories or just the general beat. Sometimes that feeling is sadness, maybe you actually listened to the lyrics or again memories. Like I said, it depends on the person.
This is why I love music. For everyone it evokes something different. It can be interpreted however, even if it was meant to mean something entirely different.
Music teaches us something that nothing school could teach us. It teaches us to explore ourselves, to develop and question things. Music allows us to be individuals. This is why I hate those that judge someone by their choice of music. For how can you judge someone on their music as it's individual to them. It's like judging someone on their name.
 Music is my life and I love it. It helps me through the good times and the bad. It holds many memories and teaches me many things.
La la la la la la

Friday, 3 February 2012

2,4,6,8 who do we appreciate!

Well hello there.
 Today was a rather eye opening day for me. Today it was fancy dress at sixth form. Now normally the thought of participating in these days doesn't really appeal however this one did. It was dress up as something that starts as the first letter of your name. E.g Astronaut for Albus Dumbledore. Anyways I had been thinking what to do but never came up with a concrete idea.
  10 minutes before i was due to leave my house this morning I thought why not see if I could come up with something and amazingly I did. A cheerleader. Although as I don't possess any pom poms i was off duty. Anyways being a cheerleader involves wearing a skirt and at the moment in England, its freezing. This didn't bother me but as I walked out of my house I became paranoid. I'm the last person to wear skirts (In England mind) but today I was going out in minus temperatures for fancy dress. So i text a friend to meet me att he top of my road, and they did.
Walking to school was pleasantly surprising, as I was walking with a half Clark-Kent Superman and Robin from Batman and Robin, so the stares were minimal. However because the whole school wasn't in uniform there was a few OH MY GOSH, WHAT IS SHE WEARING moments from certain younger years. They obviously didn't know I was a sixth former. Anyways these made me really self conscious but as the day went by I felt less awkward and more normal...ish.
 Today has taught me, forget what people think. You should do things you're comfortable with and let the haters hate.
Anyways adios for now. xx

Thursday, 2 February 2012

Lets get creative!

Well hello there.
 Haven't blogged in a while due to the fact that school has needed my attention and when I'm free, I find myself drawing.
 I love drawing, I'm not very good at it but i love it. So far I've drawn all sorts of things, mainly still-life and stuff from pictures. But hey ho. I love it due to the satisfaction I get from re creating an amazing picture however not everything I do, I like. I can't draw people and the one I drew today of me and the best friend is terrible.... yet it is my second go at faces.. and many people suck at drawing them. I mean look at picasso, how much worse can you get.! Jokes ;)

I don't just love drawing though. I'm a major drama fan. I adore acting. It's one of my favourite hobbies ever. Even above drawing.  I miss it so much, since I've had to stop what with having school and work commitments etc. I like to think that I'm good at it, the last performance I did I had a few comments. When people found out I was quitting that drama group, many said, "Remember, keep acting! you're a little star, you can go far if you wanted to" I miss these people. We came from totally different backgrounds yet we were family.

 I do dabble in the singing and dancing also as I have done a few musicals and the odd concert. One Christmas concert to be precise. But they aren't my strongest forte. Doesn't stop me dancing and singing round my room every so often though.

Anyways I like to think I get the creative genes from my family. My mum can draw, my granddad can draw, my Nan can draw and paint and they are all big drama queens!

Anyways that's enough creativity for one afternoon.  <---- me acting a few years ago.

Thursday, 26 January 2012


Well hello there.
Apologies, I said the blog before last, I'd write a happy blog soon, then the last one I wrote was rather depressing also.
 So here's my happy blog! hehe
 Tomorrow is FRIIIIIIDAY!!!!! Be happy!
Blog soon.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Those no longer with us

Well hello there.
        After a long, rather depressing memory session with my mother this evening it got me thinking. Rather negatively but thinking all the same. I'm very lucky,touch wood, to say that I haven't really lost anyone close to me. I have attended very few funerals and therefore haven't really experienced what it's like to lose a loved one. However I have had many animals and as they don't last as long as human's, a lot of misery has been caused. Sounds soppy I know but like many other people, I always classed animals as siblings or family. The first animal I lost was a goldfish, because he wasn't really mine to begin with I wasn't fazed. But as I got older, so did my animals. First it was one of my guinea pigs. Came home from my Nan and granddads and she'd died. I cried, but my mum cried more because the guinea pig hadn't been feeling well and they were outside. This means she couldn't keep constant check on them. The next animal to go, my beloved dog. She was a Belgian Shepard and had grown up with me since I was a baby. I have pictures of me asleep on the sofa and she is lying at my feet. She was my sister. The last to go was my final guinea pig.  However what hurt me most was that they all didn't want to die. You could tell they were in pain, struggling, yet they were determined to fight it. If they had just gone in the night, the crying would have been less. But they didn't.
      I manage to hide my feelings well, usually because I have to be strong for my Mum who really takes their deaths to heart but I've found in recent years, it's hurt me more. In the middle of the night I'll wake up, eyes streaming. Heart aching.
    It's not just animals, humans too. When I was little, I lived near this women who kept Cats and China Dolls. She was a friend of my Mum's. Lovely woman. Not crazy, married and everything.  In 2003 we moved to a new house, and my Mum's friend/neighbour moved to another county, local but different all the same. We  said we'd go visit her in her new house. We never did. In 2007/2008, she was diagnosed with cancer, Breast cancer i believe. In May, I remember my Mum telling me that she'd gone into remission, she was getting better. But by the October, she'd got ill again and soon passed away. I barely remember her, seeing as I was 7 when we moved house. Yet my Mum still has her funeral service. She wasn't someone who I would have cried about, but she still makes a shadow in my memories.
             Many people die everyday and whilst this may seem select, I just wanted to share my sadness. For whilst I never cried when they first passed away, I'm crying now. I miss them. No matter how big or small a part they played in my life;they are what makes me. Me.

R.I.P- I will remember you always!

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Painful reminders!

Well hello there.
  Ever get that feeling when you feel so low that you just want to go to bed and never wake up? I've had that before, it's horrible. Normally most people cry it out then they're fine, I'm like that too, sometimes.
Sometimes though, the anger engulfs me so much I need to get rid of it. I don't ever want to hurt anyone else, so the only other route is hurting myself. Self harming.
  Please never do this. It's a silly pathway out. It creates painful reminders, that will be there forever basically. I know this may sound really desperate, but I'm not. I'm an extremely happy person, but with every high moment comes as an equally low moment which I struggle to get through. I used to do it regularly, (not many people  know) but I've stopped now, forever haunted by my heat of the moment mistakes. I don't plan on doing it again, my only regret is that I ever started in the first place.
Apologies for the depressiveness tonight, I'll write a much happier blog soon.

Friday, 13 January 2012

Live like there's no tomorrow

Well hello there.
  Whilst having a lovely chat with the bestest earlier today, she informed me of her dislike of her current situation and how she wants to get away from it all. Not like die or anything but move abroad. Have some different experiences etc. At first I felt like she was being irrational and a bit OTT but once she explained to me how she truly felt, I could see her reasoning.
   At the end of the day, we only have 1 life and we should live it the way we want to. Experiencing all sorts of adventures, from the very small to the absolutely huge. Meeting a variety of people, from the good, to the down right Bonkers!
  Soon we'll be dead and gone, before we die, we'll have regrets, regrets we didn't take some opportunities, regrets we didn't tell that person we loved them. Regrets we didn't live our life to the full.

So remember, Live Like there's no tomorrow. After all, we only have one life.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Just a little something to brighten up your day

Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.


Monday, 9 January 2012

No matter what, I'll be there.

Well hello there.
 As of late I've been having a fair few conversations with friends who I haven't seen in ages. Not because I'm too lazy to organise anything but because they live far away. One friend it would take them, a plane, train and an automobile to get to where I live and a couple of trains for the other.
 I would love to see them again. We shared some wonderful, if brief memories together and well I'd love to have more. I love them both like sisters and they mean everything to me. I hate seeing them down and even though I'm here and they're there, I'm always willing to fight their corner.
 I know that if we all lived closer, it would be fantastic, I COULD actually fight their corner. Some things however just aren't meant to be. I'm hoping that after exams, I might get a visit from at least one of them. Although I always get my hopes up for nothing. But maybe this time will be different.
  I love them lots so i have every faith I'll see them again soon.

On a little end note, never lose contact with the ones you love because one day, it might be too late.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Questions with no answers

Well hello there.
 Today I've started a big debate, with myself. I'm not too sure about what the answer is to my question and I don't think I want to know.
  I've discussed it with someone but as much as I love them, they didn't really help my question. They understand my situation  but I'm just not sure of the answer.
  Well this is a little ramble. Apologies for the vagueness.

Thursday, 5 January 2012

Practice makes perfect!

Well hello there.
Haven't blogged for a while as just started back at school and been revising. Alot. Well my exams are next week and the week after so not too long now. Gulp! I only have 2 and whilst this may seem good, it's not, because AS is the hardest thing ever, well after GCSE it is.
 All my teachers in ALL my subjects (that being 4) have been lecturing me of the importance of starting revising in like October, and whilst this is logical, the revision I did do then has subsequently left my head, so I have to just re-revise it now.
 However one tip they've given me that I must note, is the doing of past papers. Doing these allows you to see the style of the exam and what is expected of you to get the marks. I found these are helpful, but like most things only to a degree, as your exam might not contain anything which has been covered previously. So never just rely on one method to help you. That's also another reason I hate starting revision TOO early, you do the past papers too soon and when it's more important for you to do them, there are no new ones for you to do.
 So make sure you practice, but not too much solely and not too soon.

Good Luck if you are sitting exams anytime soon!

Monday, 2 January 2012

Happy New Year!!!

Well hello there.
Well it's 2 days now into the New Year. Mine started off pretty good actually. Although I don't think losing at cards 6 times in a row is.... but oh well. I had been drinking, only a little though. Got myself a permanent job too. The fear I felt when I got called in to have my 12 week review was huge but to find out I'd managed to get the job was wow! Most of the christmas temps did, although one person who most people thought deserved to get the job didn't. This really made me sad because he was a really hard worker and we'd been together most of the time  on our little christmas temp journey. Anyways just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year.
I hope 2012 is a prosperous one for you. Remember it will only be as good as you make it.